Resistance is Phutile

Executed at dawn.

Late last night I came home from work with a sense of anticipation. The guvnor had been complaining about the ongoing rodent problem in the beer garden, which requires constant preventive measure, when I mentioned that I had a similar problem at home. After a brief chat, where I explained that the use of humane traps had proved fruitless, he gave me something that turned out to be a 'GlueeLouee' rodent catcher. Armed with the gluepad and a pack of pork scratchings for bait I thanked him and headed off. When home, I showed it to my better half and she pointed out that if successful, the enemy would still be alive when found. Feeling full of bravado and sensing a breakthrough in the war, I didn't much care that I would have to kill any prisoners the next day. With the trap laid in the kitchen, where the enemy has been sighted most frequently, I went to bed promising myself not to get my hopes up. This has been a common mistake on my part these last couple of months.

Entering the kitchen this morning I moved slowly, anxious of both failure and success, and saw the mouse, trapped. I took it out to the yard to carry out my grim duty. Despite finally piercing a hole through the enemy trenches I have to admit I didn't enjoy the victory much.

All I can do now is hope there is just the one other mouse (only two have ever been seen), I can't say with any certainty whether that's the case though.


Update: Well, within two nights I captured the second little bastard and slayed it with the use of a very large plant pot, which proved much quicker and more humane than the rock I used first time round. Again, didn't enjoy it much, I don't like killing things. Unfortunately, a third mouse has been spotted, and we live in fear of full scale invasion. The arms industry that is my boss assures me that help is forthcoming.

posted by Phu @ 11:29 am